oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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