I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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