I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
