i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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