i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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