the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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