You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
