therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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