There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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