trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
