Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
