We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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