So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
