My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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