I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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