I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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