First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
