I wanna bring you to show and tell
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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