Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
