Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
