My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
a search helicopter?!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
