using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
