i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
