She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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