How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
