I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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