Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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