I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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