What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
