you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
