He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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