she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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