i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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