and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
