turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want nice things and good sex
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
