Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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