maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
