Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
