She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
