if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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