it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
