no, he came in my armpit
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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