you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
there is puke in my bra ... again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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