she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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