that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
