i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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