when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
