He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
