If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
