dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
